Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
