We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
This couple is walking their pig around campus
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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