garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
