I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
