You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
