she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
