Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
