Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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