Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
