Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
