honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
