what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
