have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
