dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Boobs speak an international language.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
