dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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