Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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