The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
