Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
