Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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