I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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