im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
