I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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