even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
