I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
