Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize