I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
