Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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