Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
