this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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