my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
