she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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