I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
