Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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