I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
