Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
