So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
And then he peed in my hair
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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