i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
