you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
