Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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