I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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