I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
