So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
