My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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