Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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