i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
