You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Of course I have a pirate flag
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
