My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
