I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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