How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
