doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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