Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
