she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Randomize