Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
