Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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