u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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