Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
