You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
