put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
