I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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