I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
