walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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