His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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