how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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